A new venture

Zaftig here...returning after yet again another long break.
   So I had a revelation in the past few weeks as I have had some time to reflect on my life. A few years ago, when I started my freshman year in college, I gained more weight then I ever thought imaginable. I encountered severe body issues, individuals who pointed out my significant weight gain, and people who were insensitive to my body issues.
   I will never forget this one boy who lived in my dorm. Day in and day out, he would remind me of my weight, whether it was in front of a crowd, or a smirking comment straight to my face.
   What enjoyment did this boy get in making me feel lower and lower in a sea of low self-esteem and unhappiness?
   Maybe it was that boy who turned things around for me, or maybe it was the fact that I hit the lowest point in my life. Whatever it was, that summer I decided, no more junk food, no more eating my feelings, and certainly no alcohol. That summer, I decided to go on the Jenny Craig diet, and lost a whopping forty pounds before returning to college my sophmore year.
     I kept off that weight for a good two and a half years, but somehow, some way, the weight crept back like a slow moving and invasive disease.
    That boy who lived in my dorm was not there to taunt me or point out my flaws, but someone else stood out in my mind. The cruelest person that I have encountered in my life, the person that was the hardest on me, brought out my weakest points, my lowest and deepest emotions. Someone that I would call an enemy.
      That person will forever live in my heart, and reflect back in the mirror every time I look into it. That person is me.
    I woke up last week and asked myself, why am I my worst critic? There is no need for a tormentor to motivate me, because I am the biggest nemesis to my own self esteem.
   So this week, I am starting a new venture; something that has worked in the past, so should work again...history repeats itself, right?
    Jenny Craig round two, here I come. But this new venture also allows me to meet someone special; my inner beauty.

And loyal Zaftig followers,
 I pledge my honesty, my sincerity, and the real raw truth. I will be blogging more to allow you to follow my highs and lows as I approach this challenge, this time, for good.

Signing off,
The NEW and IMPROVED Zaftig

I OBJECT!

Breaking news: Zaftig has been a victim of a hateful crime against humanity. A crime so heinous that it is even hard to discuss. What will the jury say once they hear what the Zaftig has endured...
    It all started many moons ago. This little thing we call, being a foodie, a zaftig-figured woman, and someone who is trying to "keep up with the times" by following the latest diet trend, has yet again been faced with a losing battle.
   Well, it has been quite a few days since I last wrote. But, since then, I have attempted, failed, and attempted let's see... The Eat five small meals and try to be healthy diet, that did not work, so I moved into the SEE FOOD DIET(you see it, you eat it), the skip the gym for days diet, and well, on to the next.
    Why do we fall victim to the hardship of steadily following a diet? What prevents us? Is there an imaginary wall that our weight puts up and says "Forget you, I'm stickin' on her bod". Really, is there a conspiracy against my weight loss? Do all the food groups line up each day and say, "Hey you know what, maybe The Zaftig will get a hold of us today, and we will live and conquer her body for the rest of her life!"
   Honestly, there is a conspiracy, I am convinced. I will prove it in court if I have to! Wait a second, the conspiracy is self-inflicted. The lack of determination, self-confidence, and the constant struggle has put up this wall that is temporary.
   The first step is recognizing your problem, right? Well, I have already recognized my diet fails, but it is time to take this case to court, and rip down that wall, little by little.
    It is time to take those food groups before the jury, and when they try to stay on my body, I will reply... I OBJECT!

Signing off,
The Zaftig
   

Digging

      Do you ever feel like you are constantly digging and digging to get to the root? Sometimes, we are fenced in our own little garden, and we become blinded by the weeds to even notice the beauty of the flowers around us that are trying to bloom. Has a beautiful red rose ever caught your eye, but it seems as though you can only find yourself being pricked by the thorns.
  Often, we become so lost and sidetracked in our own world, that we don't have the time to notice all of the beauty surrounding us.
  Often, I find myself wondering what makes me happy, sad, excited, fearful, or even anxious. What I have discovered as I dig and dig into the soil, is the unknown. What lies beneath the roots that are embedded in our earth? What does each layer of our atmosphere hold? What does each layer hide as we get deeper and deeper, closer and closer, to the depths of our roots. What secrets will be shared as we find ourselves shedding each layer, slowly, one by one?
     The unknown is happy, sad, exciting, fearful, and anxiety provoking. But what can we do? Keep on digging.

Happy Sunday,

Signing off,
The Zaftig.

IMMMMM BACKKK in the gameeee

Hey all!
   Zaftig is back in the gammmme. Here I am, returning from a long journey of having no time at all between grad school-teaching-leading 3 clubs at school-and welp, leaving little to no time for the gym. But guess what, it is Rosh Hashanah, the start of the Jewish New Year. As I sit and ponder the important things that I would like for this year, there are many things that pop in my mind.
    Love, peace, happiness, and health are the top four categories that I wish for my family, friends, and myself. Let's revisit health-that is one of the most important things that we have.
   This week at school, I was greatly impacted by a fellow coworker who went to the hospital because of chest pains. The outcome of his sudden hospital visit was due to high blood pressure from salty foods and poor eating habits.
   Not only was I upset and worried about my colleague, but more importantly, it made me think about how valuable health is.
    Let's face it, ladies and gentleman, when we are so busy doing a million things, the last thing on our mind is what vegetable we can eat, what fruit we can enjoy, and how we can balance our meals. When we are on the go, we are thinking about the first available thing we can grab at a fast food restaurant, the next quick bite, and well, the famous, "No Gym for me this week, I just don't have the time". Dinnng dinnng...ringing any bells?
     So as I sit here and reflect on this game that I call life, the importance of tuning our bodies and minds, I think about friends, family, and myself. I wish that we all take care of ourselves by feeding our bodies with healthy things, rather than poor foods and drinks that can be detrimental to our health.
    La Shana Tova, Happy Jewish New Year, to both my friends that observe, my friends that don't, and anyone else that may be reading. I wish everyone the best as I continue my journey for self-discovery, self-confidence, and a better understanding of who I am.
   Remember, our lives are baseball games. We get a few strikes, maybe some foul balls before we are out. So make each pitch count, make each hit memorable, and hit a home-run until the referee calls the game.


Thanks for tuning in,
  I will be continuing to write more frequently!

Signing off,
The Zaftig

Sunday Blues

It is Sunday, and what does Sunday bring? You said it sista, the Sunday Blues. The weekend is over, the work week is about to get started, and we are left alone with our thoughts.
    Lets's talk reality, and step away from our dieting dos and do nots. Life is about a series of events, good, bad, and neutral. Some events change our lives, others keep us on a tracked path.
    As I continue my life, I seem to become overly busy, maybe even a bit overwhelmed. Teaching, taking graduate classes, leading two clubs at my school, and now being the student council faculty adviser, seems like I might have bitten off more than I can chew.
     As my Sunday night continues, and the clock ticks, closer to bedtime, closer to the morning; I wonder how I will balance my busy week. I look through my papers, look at my list of things to do, and it seems as though I have fallen into a deep ocean, and I need oxygen to  last until I get to the surface.
    Am I drowning in an ocean of work? Does it seem like I am the only fish in a deep abyss filled with sharks?
     This month of September brings a new year, a new start, and new events that will come my way. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, and that swimming away from my responsibilities will allow me to get to the surface faster, I need to take it slow, one stroke at a time, until I am swimming alongside the sharks.

Signing off,
The Zaftig 

Chugga Chugga...Oops I fell off the train

    Zaftig here returning after a long train ride. You see, I was riding my train to a destination, a trip that would lead me to a lifetime of weight loss, but my train derailed and I fell off. We all know how hard it is to diet, and we can do so well, but from time to time, we have our challenges. And, well, I met my nemesis, my final match.
    Drinking alcohol and going out to dinner night after night has not served me well. In fact, I got on a ride to diet hell.
   So here I am, putting it all out there. I, The Zaftig, have taken a slight delay  off that train, but what happens when something does not go as planned? You reschedule...so tomorrow, Monday, September 12 my new train ride will arrive.
    I am getting back on that darn train and taking a sweet ride to diet heaven.
 Wish me luck,
Signing off,
The Zaftig

Back To School

    I WILL NOT DO MY HOMEWORK TONIGHT, are the words I hear as I drift into my sweet slumber,  The infamous "teacher nightmares" seem to return as we enter another school year. No matter how many years of experience we gain under our belt, it seems as though going back to school can be frightening and nerve-wrecking. We all have those well...what if this child acts out this year, or what if...
   But as the year begins, continues, and ends, it seems almost laughable at the fact that we felt this nerve wrecked for the year. Once we walk through the doors of the school, into our classes, and await on the smiling faces of our students, the worries seem to become eased. The first few days we are so busy running around, we almost forget to eat, and we become so consumed in our daily lives, that our diets seem to be "right on track".
   But what happens when we get into our comfortable routine...you guessed it. We start to snack, party with our students' birthday treats, and well, it seems that we continue to fall right back into our bad eating habits.
 But not this year for Miss Zatig! Watch out now kids. Make one less brownie this year, one less cookie, and one less piece of candy, because Miss Zaftig is holding out strong. Instead of, "Happy Birthday, sure I will have a piece of large cake to celebrate this joyous day with you," Miss Zaftig will be saying, "Oh no sweetie, I will pass; but thank you so much for offering and happy birthday." Well, ok maybe just once I will indulge.
  Happy NEW (school) Year!

Signing off,
The Zaftig